All posts by Alan Simmons:

London. Leicester Square. Five to seven. It’s raining heavily. The streets thrum with foreign school trips barring my approach to this fair city’s finest filmic emporium: The Prince Charles Cinema. I’m hungry, but there’s no time for even the fastest of food. I don’t want to be late. It is time to keep my appointment [...]

While drilling for oil, the crew of the The Rig’s rig accidentally bore into a dodgy section of sea bed releasing a load of purple stuff. And something with rather a lot of long and pointy teeth. Coincidentally a big ol’ storm rolls in and isolates the cast just as the man-in-a-fish-monster-suit starts picking them [...]

Tom Six is the controversy courting director of mouth to anus, medically accurate-a-rama: The Human Centipede. His latest film The Human Centipede: Full Sequence recently made the BBFC wet themselves and decline to give it a certificate, declaring it “obscene”. It’s an overcast but hot one as I pick my way through the sightseeing hordes [...]