Movie Review Archive

Reviews in order of upload:

Although the title seems like just a play on words, the phrase “as above, so below” is actually the key to all magic. Or, so we are told by Perdita Weeks’ know-it-all British student – and you’d better believe she’ll utter those words ominously herself before the film is out. Kicking off with a great [...]

Upon its release, blockbuster box office hit Guardians Of The Galaxy was described by certain genre fans as the most expensive Troma movie ever made. Clearly, they haven’t seen Slither, Guardians writer/director James Gunn’s raucous, gory and hugely enjoyable 2006 creature feature with a heart of gold that, sadly, never quite found the audience it [...]

Scintilla is well acted, well directed, well scored, superbly designed and grimly nihilistic, but much like it’s title, it is also massively confusing. Enjoyable, but only if you prefer your sci-fi horror to be deliberately elusive. Welcome to the future. Or the past. Or an alternate universe. Or now. Whenever we are, we’re following a [...]

It’s like Scream never happened. Varsity Blood is the type of by-the-numbers teen slasher film Kevin Williamson and Wes Craven openly mocked in 1996, but it’s 18 years later and filmmakers still haven’t learned. This non-ironic horror literally ticks off nearly every slasher flick cliché you can imagine. Ready? Let’s go! Halloween. A small American [...]

Much like its predecessor, Sharknado 2: The Second One does exactly what one might expect. The sequel ups the ante considerably, kicking off its ludicrous narrative with an utterly unfathomable, yet ultimately very thrilling, airplane sequence, which involves, among others, Kelly Osbourne, Wil Wheaton, Airplane!’s Robert Hays and a whole load of flying sharks. Although [...]

Happy 21st birthday Luke! Have a drink, go to a strip club and get a lapdance! In the morning you’ll feel like crap… especially because someone’s dumped the dead body of your friend in your bathtub. After removing her eyes, of course. Things get even weirder when Luke (Danny Horn) is sent a video telling [...]

Following the success of last year’s dystopian nightmare The Purge, which squandered a half-decent idea by limiting the action to one suburban household, the sequel widens the scope significantly by encompassing an entire city. The Purge: Anarchy follows three interconnecting stories, each representing a different faction of a troubled society, from a poor mother and [...]

Low budget zombie movies; not exactly uncommon to see, and rarely do they say or do anything different. Have you had enough of generic, carbon-copy zombie films that take zero risks and feel fantastically familiar? Then perhaps The Battery is for you. The Battery is a different take on the zombie film. Very different. Barely [...]

Grand Piano is a loving throwback to the hey-days of the giallo movie, mixed with a heavy dose of Phone Booth. It doesn’t quite capture the masterful essence of an Argento or Bava creation, but it’s a fun ride with some memorable visuals, a thoroughly contrived plot and provides further proof that Elijah Wood is absolutely [...]

As someone who openly confesses to having a love/hate relationship with the films of Ti West, I’m perhaps not the best person to review his latest offering The Sacrament. West is a master at creating eminently watchable, interesting characters and popping them into unusual situations but his very deliberate pacing and inability to really nail [...]

George A. Romero has a lot to answer for. Ever since titling his second zombie feature Dawn of the Dead, there has been countless “of the Dead” movies – mostly spawned after the remake exploded onto cinemas in 2004. Unfortunately for every Shaun of the Dead there are dozens of appalling-bad, cheaply made rip off [...]

Opening with a picket at the funeral of a recently-murdered young gay man, one could be forgiven for assuming Kevin Smith’s Red State is a slight on the much-maligned Westboro Baptist Church. However, about halfway through this disturbingly realistic take on cult mentality in the Deep South, John Goodman’s law enforcement officer informs a colleague, [...]

So, let’s talk about the best film of 2014. Yes, it’s a horror movie. No, it’s not typical. It’s neither a big budget flick nor an indie horror. …It is, quite simply, an experience: art house mixed with horror. The film I’m talking about is, of course, Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin – have I [...]

Cold in July is the fourth feature from writer / director Jim Mickle and writer Nick Damici, having previously brought us Zombie Virus on Mulberry Street, Stake Land and We Are What We Are. Much like their previous work, this is very different from what came before it – this time a dark, dramatic thriller. [...]

Wandering helplessly in freezing peaks of Norway, Jannicke, the sole survivor of a killing spree by a pickaxe wielding man-mountain, is discovered by a passing motorist, and taken to hospital. Following a swift police investigation, the bodies of her fallen friends are recovered. Sadly for her, and the rest of the hospital’s inhabitants, another body [...]

Chad Crawford Kinkle‘s The Pit (a.k.a. Jug Face) is a truly bleak slice of backwoods American gothic and although it paints a terrifically unfavourable picture of a small cross-section of our Southern American cousins, it’s an interesting and atmospheric take on an old fashioned story. Ada is a pretty teenager who lives within a small [...]

Oculus may sound like a substandard metalcore band from the early-2000s but the word actually refers to a style of design that is round, or eye-like, which somehow feeds into the idea of a musty, old haunted mirror. Adapted from a short by director Mike Flanagan (who also helmed the enjoyable Absentia), the premise is [...]

I had the pleasure of seeing Cheap Thrills at FrightFest 2013 and in the year that’s passed, I haven’t seen a better film. And I watch a lot of films. It’s brave, gut-wrenchingly disgusting, hysterically funny, tightly edited, perfectly acted and the script is one of the best I’ve seen committed to film in a [...]

The Quiet Ones is the latest offering from the re-booted Hammer Films. It takes place in Oxford, in the mid 70′s, and follows Professor Joseph Coupland (Jared Harris), two of his students (Erin Richards and Rory Fleck-Byrne), an amateur filmmaker that he ropes in (Sam Claflin) and his ‘patient’; Jane Harper (Olivia Cooke). Professor Joseph [...]

Willow Creek is a found footage film… Wait! Come back! Don’t leave just yet! Willow Creek is an EXCELLENT found footage film and definitely worth your attention. This isn’t the Paranormal Blair Witch Activity Rip-Off #5 – this is genuinely very good. Jim (Bryce Johnson) is making a documentary about the mythical Bigfoot and has dragged [...]

Rachel and Kyle Massey (Laurel Vail & Danny Barclay) are having a baby, and a reality television crew has decided to make a new documentary about their experience, intending to follow them throughout the pregnancy all the way to delivery. Early on in the documentary Rachel’s baby ‘dies’ – no heartbeat – but the next [...]

In a world of slithery sharktopuses (sharktopi?), penis-chomping piranha and dam-obliterating zombeavers, Godzilla looks like a grumpy old fart. Following his less-than-impressive outing almost twenty years ago, the big guy was relegated to the bargain bin, and stripped of his title in his home country – the 1998 incarnation is referred to only as Zilla [...]

The Invoking is bad. Really bad. Unwatchable bad. So bad it took me three sittings across two weeks to watch the entire thing. I gave it a fair shot… but it actually deserved to be shot. In the face. Then set on fire and buried in consecrated ground under a full moon. The Invoking is [...]

Novice director Jeremy Saulnier’s Blue Ruin, which is also adapted from his self-penned screenplay, seems at first glance to be a standard, run of the mill revenge thriller. Newcomer Macon Blair, Saulnier’s own high school buddy, begins the film sporting a scraggly beard of which Daniel Bryan would be proud, before delivering some Old Testament [...]

Dead Before Dawn 3D is a Canadian horror comedy that has the fun premise and the required enthusiasm of a, potentially, very entertainingly bonkers film, but the ingredients, sadly, just don’t add up to anything approaching the promise. In the very first scene of the movie we learn that Casper; our protagonist, lost his Father [...]