Orc Wars follows the story of princess Aleya (Masiela Lusha), who flees from her home world through a tunnel to earth as we know it looking for a ‘wizard’ to protect her and the gate between the two worlds. Unfortunately she’s followed by a horde of orcs who are determined to bring her back to their master and sacrifice her. Along the way she meets John Norton (Rusty Joiner) a retired military man, who just so happens to have moved into the previous wizards house. John reluctantly takes on the role of protector, and uses his arsenal of ‘magic’ (guns) to take on the might of the orc legions.

Orc Wars tries in no way to hide its intentions in deriving inspiration from Peter Jackson. So much so, that they actually use replica props from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. This sets the tone for the entire film. It’s just shameless. From the outset, you find yourself trying to convince yourself that they were making this for fun, but the stark reality swiftly hits you that this was no spoof. This is played completely straight.

All in all, Orc Wars is nothing more than one man’s realisation of an insultingly terrible rip off of Lord of the Rings. It’s a complete shambles from start to finish, and what makes it all the more terrible is its attempt to play it deadly serious. It’s difficult to find any redeeming qualities, but if pushed, the CGI on the dragon is half decent for a film of its budget. The addition of a dragon at all adds nothing to the plot though, so it would have been nice to see them plough some of that money into…anything else.

If you’re looking for a terrible film in the same vein as Orc Wars, one that knows it’s terrible, but plays on this and at no point takes itself seriously, check out Orcs!, which Kohl Glass also worked on. As for Orc Wars, avoid like the plague. There are countless fan made Lord of the Rings incarnations on YouTube that are infinitely better, for a fraction of the budget. If you need your fanboy itch scratched, then check those out instead.

Orc Wars is atrocious and borderline insulting. Think Cowboys vs Zombies, but even worse. Avoid.

Rating: 1 out of 10 stars

Katie (Jemma Dallender) is an aspiring model. In an attempt to improve her portfolio, she accepts an offer of free photos from photographer Ivan (Joe Absolom) and his 2 associates. The photo shoot is (unsurprisingly) not what she expected, and when things get a little seedy, she leaves. Unbeknownst to her, she’s followed home, brutally raped, drugged and kidnapped. While in captivity, she is subjected to all manner of unthinkable torture at the hands, and for the profit of her captors. When a chance happening frees her from her captors, she sets out the extract the most brutal form of vengeance she can, while battling to retain her sanity and any semblance of her former self.

The film is distinctly split into three parts: The Rape, the escape, and the revenge.

In terms of the abuse that Katie suffers, they do not pull any punches and in no way try to show anything but a uncompromising and stomach churning assault. It follows an almost identical structure depicted in I Spit on Your Grave. There are genuine moments where you will struggle to keep your eyes on the screen. It’s a horrible, torturous experience, but it’s necessary for justifying what’s to come.

I Spit On Your Grave 2 deviates from its predecessor in the sense that you actually see Katie’s transitions from a frail, broken woman, into someone consumed by revenge and justice. Jemma Dallender plays the role expertly, and considering the difficult nature of the subject matter, she seamlessly transitions between frail girl into killer.

The revenge elements of the film are both grotesque and imaginative as ever. She makes them suffer as she has suffered. There’s no quick kills here; they are long and drawn out. In any other situation there would be no justification for such acts, but after witnessing what she goes through, you unwittingly find yourself rooting for her.

The film is not without its faults. It’s like the filmmakers focused solely on trying to shock and display such brutality that they forgot there was actually a story there. As such, it’s a film ridden with plot holes. Throw in some generally weak acting by her captors, and some more than questionable accents, you’re left with a film that had a lot of potential, but does not live up to it.

I Spit on Your Grave 2 is a solid sequel if viewed as a stand alone film. However, if you were to overlap it with its predecessor, then you’d see very little difference. I Spit on Your Grave brought us a new level of suffering and violence that stayed with you long after the curtain rolled. As such, I Spit on Your Grave 2 takes something away from that. Despite a fantastic lead performance, and some truly unsettling imagery, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.

Rating: 4.5 out of 10 stars

World War Z follows the story of Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt), a former united Nations employee thrown back into service as he bears witness to a worldwide plague that turns human into ‘zombies’. After escaping the ravages of his city with his family, he is once again re-employed by the UN and tasked with finding out the origin of this outbreak and if a cure can be found before the world is lost entirely to the virus.

World War Z starts highly promisingly. The first ‘attack’ totally blind sights you, and they quickly amp up the peril and anarchy giving an accurate account of the panic the apocalypse would bring. What follows, sadly, is a film that contradicts itself at almost every turn. It tries to be too much, when it should have settled on just one approach and just stuck with it.

The real challenge here was envisioning a book that, from the outset, could not really be made into a film. It is here that World War Z really falls down. Yes, the base storyline is that of Max Brooks’ book, but how do you put a series of oral interviews on film? Each interview is a completely personal ‘account’ of the Zombie War, and the sheer number of them made this an impossible task.

The biggest contradiction in World War Z is the constant changing between large and small scale storytelling. One minute you feel like you’re truly there with Gerry, feeling his pain and struggle, then suddenly you’re seeing thousands of (poorly animated) zombies attacking cities. This splicing of large and small scale may have (arguably) worked for films like Cloverfield, but in a film that is trying to focus on one man’s story, they go too big too often.

The zombies themselves are reminiscent in poor quality and animation to the ‘vampires’ in I am Legend. The problem with going for large scale, fast moving zombies, is that there is ultimately always going to be that compromise of quality, and as a result, believability. Dawn of the Dead (2004) and 28 Days Later proved that you don’t need to go completely gung ho with the special effects to make fast moving zombies work.

Some elements of the film leave believability as a distant memory. Gerry seems to survive ridiculous odds, at every turn, more than once being almost a sole survivor in planes, army bases, and entire cities. Not halfway through the film you realise, there’s no way this guy is going no die, no matter what, so his ‘struggle’ seems almost non-existent, and his success shrouded in a dull air of inevitability.

That’s not to say World War Z is not totally without its merits. Pitt’s Gerry is likable, and more importantly, believable. He is a man who, in the face of such an unprecedented ordeal, puts the welfare and safety of his wife (Mireille Enos) and children above anything else, committing several crimes (including murder) to protect them. Pitt’s acting is stellar, and is the real high point of the film. He is supported by a very strong and capable cast of some relative unknowns including an outstanding performance by Daniella Kertesz. The film follows a steady pace, and although the believability of the film goes out the window quite early on, it’s still an enjoyable film.

Where the makers went wrong, is calling the film World War Z. This gave the film a hugely unrealistic goal of achieving Max Brooks‘ vision on film. They should have either made it a personal story entirely, or just sold out and made it a huge blockbuster. This, combined with the severely restricting 12 certificate, took a great deal away from the believability. You can’t have a zombie apocalypse film with very little violence in it. It takes away from the necessary brutality.

All in all, it’s worth a watch, but there’s little to no repeat watch value, and don’t expect it to stay with you for long. The book however, definitely will.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10 stars

Manhunt is nothing we haven’t seen before plot wise. It’s the summer of 1974, and before she leaves for college, Camilla (Henriette Bruusgaard) wants to spend her last weekend hiking in the woods with her nearest and dearest. This includes best friend Mia (Nini Bull Robsahm), her altogether oblivious to anything Brother Jorgen (Jorn-Bjorn Fuller-Gee), and Camilla’s possessive boyfriend Roger (Lasse Valdal). Whilst taking a pit stop at a local roadside café, Roger repeatedly insults the locals. Little does he know, these locals are sadistic hunters, and soon enough, the quartet find themselves in the woods, in a deadly game of cat and mouse where they are the prey.

Although Manhunt has a short running time (78 minutes), and has a relatively slow start, when it gets into its stride, it successfully balances suspense, and believability with incredibly graphic and detailed violence. This is a difficult thing to do, as more often than not, the more extreme levels of gore and violence you add to a film, the less believable it becomes. This is not the case with Manhunt. The air of suspense and a genuinely palpable threat posed to this unwary group is reminiscent to the suffering of Kelly Reilly’s character in Eden Lake; and it is in this area, Manhunt truly thrives.

The acting performances are relatively solid throughout. You hate Roger because you are supposed to, and sympathise with Jorgen, because he is the everyman, and reacts how most people would in the given situation. The outstanding performance however comes from Henriette Bruusgaard’s portrayal Camilla. It’s a true trial over adversity story, and she acts the part fantastically.

The soundtrack throughout is virtually non-existent. This adds to the suspense, and gives the forest a sense of character in its own right. Too often do soundtracks unsubtly dictate what you should be feeling in a given scene; Manhunt leaves this for you to decide and does so triumphantly.

Manhunt is a truly unsettling film, with some brutally violent scenes that will resonate with you long after the credits roll. Sadly, it’s let down by an incredibly short running time, and an almost insultingly predictable plot, exemplified in a ‘twist’ you see coming from the very beginning. What Manhunt sets out to do, it does very well, but it would have been in the films best interest to be brave enough to step out of the mould of predictability.

If you go down to the woods today, don’t expect much of a surprise…

Rating: 6.5 out of 10 stars

Warm Bodies follows the story of ‘R’, played by Nicholas Hoult (Skins, X Men: First Class) and his quest for purpose in the aftermath of a world ravaged by the zombie apocalypse. R is no ordinary zombie though. He has a growing intelligence and self awareness, and wants nothing more than to find out why he’s here. It’s at this point, in a chance encounter, he meets Teresa Palmer’s (I am Number Four, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) Julie, and feels something he’s not felt before; love. This sounds sappy as hell (and at some points, it really is), but it does work to some extent.

In terms of the performances, Hoult is great. It’s a very hard thing to make a zombie have a personality, but he does it fantastically, demonstrating great evolution of a character. Hoult is firmly cementing himself in Hollywood as a real contender and it’s great to see even more English talent breaking through.

Sadly, the same cannot be said of Palmer. Though she does have her moments, I found her performance predominantly emotionless and vacuous, and found myself sadly comparing such a performance to a certain Twilight actress who we need not name.

Again sadly, I was truly unimpressed with John Malkovich’s character. He played it too cold, and for me, it just didn’t work.

The real show stealer though, came from Rob Corddry’s (Hot Tub Time Machine, Community) ‘M’. Best friend to R, he’s always there at the most apt time; always saving the day, filling those awkward moments with great one liners (for a zombie).

The pace of the film is fairly steady, and it won’t take a genius to work out the real story, and what it’s based on. Mix in that quirky soundtrack we’ve come to expect from Levine, and you’ve got a film that I enjoyed, but that frustrated me immensely at the same time.

Warm Bodies is definitely worth a watch. It’s fun, evenly paced, and a great take on a classic story. For me however, I would have liked to have seen more of the horror that was promised in the blurb and the trailer. The unforgettable problem with this film is the casting. To cast such a weak actress to stand shoulder to shoulder with an actor being taken more and more seriously was folly. She is carried by Hoult throughout the entire film. Add to this a rare weak performance by Malkovich, and you’re sadly left with a film that was good, but could really have been great.

Make no mistake though, this is 90% romantic comedy, 10% horror.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10 stars

In short, yes.

Pacific Rim follows story of Earths struggle against fearsome creatures from another world called the ‘Kaiju’. A portal known as “the breach” has opened up deep in the pacific and for years, at a steady rate, these behemoths have been coming through and tearing Earth a new one. The worlds response is “To fight monsters, we created monsters of our own”. These ‘monsters’ come in the form of giant, robots known as ‘Jaegers’, controlled by two skilled pilots who meld their minds to create the perfect symbiosis, they set about pushing the threat back. Initially it’s a success, but the Kaiju are becoming stronger, and are adapting, so drastic new measures are set into action to counteract this growing threat. So enters our hero Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam) as a gifted yet reckless (and oh so clichéd) Jaeger pilot, redrafted 5 years after a disastrous battle with a Kaiju.

That is essentially the premise of the film. You could call it ‘monsters vs robots’ and you initially wouldn’t be remiss for thinking that’s all the film is. But scratch beneath the surface though, you’ll actually see there is a great deal more to Pacific Rim than that.

In terms of the ‘on the surface’ plot, and the fight scenes, I literally have never seen anything like it one film. My jaw dropped on more than one occasion at the sheer, overwhelming, over-the-top imagination that Guillermo Del Toro (Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth) envisioned. Every single fight seen topped the last, and I found my heart racing and adrenaline surging. Nothing was left off the table, and nothing was considered too over the top. It’s like they brainstormed cool ways for robots to fight monsters, and struggled to find the best way, so they chucked everything in; and my god, did it work! The visual effects are flawless, and I can only begin to comprehend the amount of work that went into creating such a spectacle.

The casting is magnificent. Hunnam manages to perfectly balance the all-American hero/reckless wild card personas. He’s supported by Robert Kazinsky (Eastenders, True Blood) who plays the Iceman to His Maverick, two bumbling and conflicting scientists Charlie Day (Horrible Bosses) and Burn Gorman (Torchwood, Layer Cake) and a magnificent performance by relative newcomer to western cinema Rinko Kikuchi (The Brothers Bloom). Add yet another unbelievably badass performance by Idris Elba (Luther, Prometheus) and Ron Perlman (Hellboy, Sons of Anarchy) pretty much just playing himself, and you’ve got an ensemble cast that worked perfectly together.

The Jaegers are a character in themselves too; each one adopting the fighting style and characteristics of the pilots controlling them. They are each as beautifully unique and the next, and the same can be said of the Kaiju. It takes some serious imagination to think up such versatile and unique monstrosities, but Del Toro is a seasoned pro at this, so it’s no surprise that this was pulled off expertly.

The soundtrack is something that I hope does not go unnoticed, and to be honest, I’d be genuinely shocked if people weren’t moved by it. Ramin Djawadi (Iron Man, Clash of the Titans) set about such a score, that it had me excited, sorrowful, and had tears in my eyes from the sheer grandness of the spectacle in front of me on more than one occasion. The last time I felt so moved from the sheer epicness of the music in a film, was 10 years ago, when thousands of Rohirrim charged into battle in The Return of the King.

In terms of shortcomings, there are so few things that they barely warrant a mention. It can even be argued that they were intentional. I grew a little tired at the beginning of the back and forth between Hunnam and his brother, and the Rivalry between him and Kazinsky bore more than a passing resemblance to the Maverick/Iceman rivalry in Top Gun. But so obvious was it, that it may well have been a hat tip to the 80’s classic. Also, I found myself on more than one occasion, at the end of a battle thinking ‘why didn’t they just use that kick ass weapon at the start of the fight?’, but then again, it would have made for a very short and boring sequence of fight scenes.

For me, Pacific Rim has it all. It had Monsters, Robots, human interaction, character development, great pace, great action, and special effects the likes of which I’ve never seen. It’s enough to make Michael Bay (hopefully) walk into one of his explosions instead of walk away. This is a must see on the big screen, and although the enjoyment will be immense on small screen, it is a big screen ESSENTIAL.

I don’t believe there’s any such thing as the perfect film, but personally, Pacific Rim had everything I wanted in a film, and I urge everyone to go and see it as soon as possible.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10 stars

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters begins much the same as the classic Grimm story, with the young siblings finding their way to the house of candy in the middle of a dark forest where they’re captured by an evil witch, who plans on fattening them up and eating them. They manage to outsmart the witch (in a very gruesome way) and escape. This is where the similarities end. Hansel and Gretel become the titled witch hunters, travelling the land slaughtering witches and protecting the towns they are ravaging. It’s not going to be winning any screenwriting awards, but it never intended to. It’s a fun and lighthearted film, but don’t misunderstand; it is most certainly NOT for children. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is well aware that it’s the ballsy cousin to fairy tale counterpart Snow White and the Hunstman, but it revels in it’s R-rating, and for this reason, it shines.

In terms of the characters, both Renner and Arterton make their characters their own. Yes they’re these two badass witch slayers, but they’re very much human, and very breakable. Hansel gets pounded by massively powered up witches and battered by trees, and Renner makes it not only cringe worthy, but hilarious. Gretel is by no means a pushover either. The unique thing about her character, and Gemma Arterton‘s great portrayal, is that she’s considered an equal among men. She is a real, empowered woman, who frankly doesn’t take any shit from anyone; witch, man, or otherwise. It was so refreshing to see a fairy tale heroine actually back her words up, and kick some ass. Yes I’m looking at you Snow White and the Hunstman.

The witches themselves are a great take on the classic foe. They ride around on broomsticks, have wands, warts and a truly wicked way about them. But they are also incredibly powerful physical beings; often resorting to physical brawling, most of which poor Renner bears the brunt of. Lead witch Muriel is played by the brilliant Famke Janssen, and you can really see she revels in being the bad guy.

A personal favourite character of mine though is the troll, Edward. It’s a stroke of genius giving him such a human name, as he really is that. The animatronics are superb, and I found myself genuinely feeling for the poor big guy, under the whip of the witches.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters can best be described as a fun romp. Don’t take it too seriously, just sit back and enjoy the great action scenes, killer one liners, and great visuals. It’s no classic and regrettably it is somewhat let down by a weak, and predictable storyline, but I personally think it’s a greatly understated film for what it is. It’s fun for the sake of it, and the cast play their parts great.

It’s a film that doesn’t give a shit, but in the best way possible.

Rating: 6 out of 10 stars

Tokyo Gore Police is set in a hedonistic future world vision of Tokyo, where extreme violence is a part of everyday life. Self-harm and mutilation are actively encouraged; so much so, cutesy adverts are interlaced throughout the whole film giving a view into a ‘fashionable self-harm’ culture. The story follows Yuka (Eihi Shiina), a member of a privatised police force, tasked with tracking down and exterminating ‘engineers’; malformed criminals who, when suffering wounds, mutate body parts into gruesome weapons. When I say gruesome, I mean full-on stomach churning. But hey, who wouldn’t want a three foot mutated penis gun that trumpets like an elephant, right? As the story progresses, more about Yuka, her past, and how she became part of the police force become clear. Throw in a moral ‘who is the real monster’ undertone, and you’re set for a true assault on the senses.

In terms of the level of violence, it’s on another level. I consider myself of a strong stomach, but the obscenely high levels of blood (although comical the vast majority of the time) registered a substantial level of wincing in my twisted mind. The concept of the engineers’ mutations is the real genius play though. It gave the filmmakers complete creative freedom to show the most whacky and wonderfully stomach-churning abominations, and I found myself willing the bad guys to get minced up just to see how they mutated. The film constantly pushes the boundaries of fetishistic, sadistic, and masochistic violence, and at no point did I become bored of the violence, as it was ever changing.

Eihi Shiina plays the part of Yuka magnificently. She will always be best known for her incredibly unsettling performance in Audition so had a high pedigree coming into this film. She plays the role quietly and calmly, and in the face of the comical over the top violence, she’s the level-headed constant that keeps the film on track. The supporting characters do their part well too, amalgamating a mix of serious to downright slapstick.

The soundtrack has the ever predictable shredding guitar solos when there’s a fight scene, reminiscent of any Japanese hack-and-slash game, offset by emotional soft violins when there’s a particularly deep moment in the story.

Tokyo Gore Police is definitely a worth a watch, if you’re of a strong stomach. Sadly it is somewhat let down by a relatively weak storyline and is predictable from start to finish. For the most part though, you’ll be too busy enjoying/wincing at the buckets and buckets of blood and fiendishly twisted executions throughout. The death count is through the roof in this; each one more imaginative than the last. Carried throughout by a strong performance by Eihi Shiina, it’s a film I’d highly recommend; and if you liked it, check out The Machine Girl, or the highly acclaimed (and personal favourite of mine) Ichi the Killer, for the same twisted levels of violence.

Watch it, wince, and go back for more.

I did.

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Speaking personally, the impact Ray Harryhausen had on me permeates several parts of my life, and gave birth to my lifelong fascination with monsters. One of my first memories is sitting on my grandfather’s knee, being allowed to stay up late to watch Clash of the Titans, at 5 years old. I was terrified, but my Grandpa was with me and helped quell that fear. Fear quickly turned to fascination that has stayed with me to this day. This bore fruit, when at age 24 I completed my Masters thesis ‘From Beowulf, to Buffy, and Beyond: The Evolution of the Medieval Monster.’ A solid year of researching monsters from all ages and cultures, comparing their depiction in the past and how they’d evolved in modern time often brought me around to one name: Ray Harryhausen. This shows the true influence of the man in modern cinematic society. To call him the godfather of his field just doesn’t seem to do him justice. I even dug up my thesis and gave it a read through in the wake of Harryhausen’s passing, and found him referenced in the text no fewer than 18 times. My academic life’s work has always surrounded monsters, the ‘other’, and their impact on society and entertainment, and Ray Harryhausen has been with me every step of the way. For that, I am truly thankful.

Born in 1920, growing up in Los Angeles, California, Harryhausen’s first experience with the monsters that would shape his life and career was seeing 1933 creature feature King Kong. After the creative itch hit, he spent his early years experimenting with stop motion model animation inspired by Willis O’Brien, the model animator on King Kong. We have a lot to thank Willis for, because without him urging Harryhausen (following an arranged meeting) to progress his work and hone his skills as a graphic artist, we may never have seen the wondrous works of the subsequent decades.

In 1947 Harryhausen was employed as an assistant animator on Mighty Joe Young alongside Willis O’Brien. Harryhausen took on the main bulk of animation duties, and their combined efforts netted O’Brien the Academy Award for Best Special Effects. This was surely a sign of things to come.

Harryhausen’s first feature film solo effort was the now famous The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms in which a ferocious Godzilla-type mister wreaks havoc, killing untold amounts of people. This film was released in 1953, and was considered the peak of stop motion animation and visual effects. You can just imagine the effect it would have had to those viewing it. As such, it’s no surprise that it was a major international box office hit for Harryhausen and Warner Brothers.

The 50s also birthed the term ‘Dynamation’, a marketing term for Harryhausen’s unique methods of experimenting with colour stock to overcome the problems in color-balance-shift, and his unique style of having model animated characters interact with the live action world.

This unique, iconic, and frankly brilliant style resulted in what is often considered his masterpiece; 1963′s Jason and The Argonauts. There are few people I have encountered in my lifetime who haven’t seen this film, or at least part of it. It’s the film with ‘that scene’ in it; the iconic skeleton fight scene. This was the pinnacle of stop motion to live action interaction, and I personally think it’s stood the test of time. This scene, where seven stop motion skeletal warriors take on three actors has never been surpassed by a single individual, and it’s unsurprising, considering the, more than, four months it took to complete. Add to that such other iconic scenes such as the hydra battle, and it’s easy to see why Harryhausen and his work has touched so many people over the years and remains just as iconic as its first showing way back in the 60s.

Harryhausen revised the Sinbad character from earlier years to create The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973) and later, Sinbad and the eye of the Tiger (1977). Both films were great box office successes the latter really showing Harryhausen’s popularity, considering 1977 saw the release of a little known film called Star Wars.

1981 saw the release of the Greek epic Clash of the Titans. This is a film that is truly close to my heart, as it was the film that as I say, birthed my love of everything monster related. In terms of monsters, Clash of the Titans had it all. Pegasus, the monstrous Kraken, giant scorpions, and perhaps most famously of all, an incredible depiction of Medusa. Having studied these monsters as a classics student, I regularly go back to this film and marvel at just how right he got it. Not only did the film showcase his talent, the Harryhausen name even carried enough weight to get legendary actor Laurence Olivier on board, playing Zeus no less. This film always has been a personal favourite of mine for several reasons. It ignited my love of monsters, effectively changing my life, it brings back some truly nostalgic personal memories, and Harry Hamlin‘s acting (don’t get me started) aside, it’s a bloody brilliant film.

Clash of the Titans was Harryhausen’s final film, as post release he and long time producer and friend Charles H. Schneer retired from active film making. Following this retirement, Harryhausen focused on his trilogy of books, Film Fantasy Scrapbook, An Animated Life and The Art of Ray Harryhausen.

In his later life, Harryhausen remained close friends with Ray Bradbury until his death in 2012, and Charles H. Sneer who passed away in 2009.

In 1986 he created The Ray and Diana Harryhausen Foundation, a charity that not only works to preserve Harryhausen’s vast collection, but also promotes the art of stop-motion animation.

In the wake of his death, the real influence he had on the entertainment world became truly apparent with the tributes paid to him.

Some are as follows:

“I think all of us who are practitioners in the arts of science fiction and fantasy movies now all feel that we’re standing on the shoulders of a giant. If not for Ray’s contribution to the collective dreamscape, we wouldn’t be who we are.”

-James Cameron

“Ray has been a great inspiration to us all in special visual industry. The art of his earlier films, which most of us grew up on, inspired us so much.” “Without Ray Harryhausen, there would likely have been no Star Wars”

George Lucas.

“He is one of the true greats, if not the true great of stop motion animation. The unique craftsman has been my mentor and inspiration since my earliest childhood memories.

“The Lord of the Ringsis my ‘Ray Harryhausen movie’. Without his life-long love of his wondrous images and storytelling it would never have been made – not by me at least”

Peter Jackson

“Ray, your inspiration goes with us forever.”

Steven Spielberg

“He is one of the true greats, if not the true great of stop motion animation. The unique craftsman has been my mentor and inspiration since my earliest childhood memories.”

Nick Park

The pedigree of those paying tribute speaks for itself, and says more about the man than I ever could.

Ray Harryhausen died on 7th May 2013 at the age of 92 years old. The world of cinema will forever be changed by him, for the better. Without him, there would be no Star Wars, there would be no Aardman Animation. It’s only when you look back, you realise how much this great man brought to the world. He has left behind a legacy that may never be equalled. He changed the world, my world, in a way words cannot do justice. So I come full circle, eagerly awaiting this summer’s big creature feature Pacific Rim, knowing full well that without the life and works of Ray Harryhausen, it wouldn’t have been made.

You will always be an inspiration. I salute you, and I thank you.

Let me just state that, although comparisons will undoubtedly be made, I’m going to review this as a completely standalone title, so comparisons to the live action remake will not me made, save this: Blood: The Last Vampire is everything its live action counterpart is not, and in short, I loved it.

I’ve given you a brief synopsis of the main premise of the film, and it’s hard to go into too much detail without completely spoiling the short (48 minutes) film, but Saya, the aforementioned ‘Original’ is employed by a department of the US secret service to investigate an American high school situated on an US air base in 1966, where it is believed a Chiropteran has infiltrated the school. Whether staff or student, it’s not known, so Saya is packed off in a cliched Japanese School uniform and a sword (cleverly hidden) strapped to her back. As you can probably guess, the story takes a turn for the sinister as a plot unravels that genuinely had me pleasantly surprised and gave a new take on the Vampire franchise.

In terms of animation, it’s dark, gritty and really gives that 60′s vintage feel, combined with great sounds, that really give a thoroughly authentic visual and aural experience. What I liked about it, is that there wasn’t an outward Japanese (big eyes small mouth) feel to it, but had its own unique style that seemed to me to be an amalgamation of eastern and western animation styles.

Saya herself is a fantastic character. At times she seems completely devoid of emotion; a ruthless single-minded killing machine, but by the end of the film we realise she’s so much more. She’s a caring individual, torn by her choices and the fact that she is effectively ‘doing as humans do, killing her own kind’. This is a moral they throw in, but it’s expertly timed and doesn’t feel at all cliched.

Saya is supported by some fantastic characters including Mahiko, the school nurse who plummets headfirst into the conflict, but really comes through as a supporting character, and is the humanistic element of the film, that we could all associate with if we were thrown into the situation.

The Chiropterans are beautifully animated, have personalities of their own, and have a grotesque and twisted elegance to them. They look like mindless beasts, but are anything but. The battle between Saya and the Chiropterans is as much a battle of wits as it is steel on fangs.

In terms of the ‘Subbed or Dubbed’ debate, so often dubbed films are dumbed down and lose their subtle nouances in translation, but Blood: The Last Vampire eliminates this problem. They make Saya bilingual. When she needs to speak English, she does, and the same for Japanese. In fact, I’d say the Japanese/English ratio is around 60/40.The English is done well too; not over the top, not over explaining the given situation. Subtle, and true to the feel of the entire film.

Blood: The Last Vampire is a beautifully stylised and gripping film. It flows so effortlessly, and although some will be let down by the short running time, I think it’s perfectly paced and does not need to be any longer. It’s a completely different take on the vampire franchise and I found it both moving, and refreshing. It spawned the also fantastic Blood+ anime series, as well as the not-so-noteworthy live action film; but the less said about that, the better.

Get out there, watch it, and enjoy a true masterclass in how Anime horror should be done.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10 stars

Dorff plays Ritchie Donovan, a down on his luck professional thief who, on the back of a heist gone tits up, reluctantly accepts another job from Russian (yes I said Russian) mob boss Sean Pertwee. He is charged with retrieving a sacred cross from an office block, and is teamed up with a motley pair of ‘Russian’ gangsters. While on the heist though, things go even more to pot, when all is not what it seems, hostages start losing their heads (literally), and an altogether more supernatural air descends on the movie.

That’s about all I’m willing to give away about the plot, as I’m not entirely sure there was actually much of a plot here. It’s a muddled mess of a movie, that just tries too hard to shock and be funny at the same time.

In terms of casting, Dorff aside, it’s a predominantly English cast, including the lovely Jaime Murray of Hustle and Dexter fame, and the aforementioned Sean Pertwee. One of the gimmicks of the movie, that as far as i’m concerned fell flat on its face is that they all play Russians. I can’t tell if this was supposed to be an in-joke, but it just reminded me of everyone speaking in an Irish accent in Alexander just to humour poor Colin Farrell. Past the first 5 minutes, it just becomes an irritation, and not even the beautiful Murray pulls it off.

The soundtrack is mediocre at best, and had that kind of Oceans Eleven ‘they know something we don’t know’ vibe to it. I was half expecting Jaime Murray to look at the camera, and wink at us a la Hustle. It would have at least fit the mood.

The gore is plentiful, but it’s just not convincing. There’s only so many times you can see people get impaled and lose limbs in various ways before it just becomes dull.

The real big let down to Botched though is its comedy. It just tries too hard. Some films are born for subtlety, and some for balls-to-the-wall buckets of gore. This was trying for the latter, but fell so wide of the mark. It’s this try hard aspect that throughout the entire film, i envisioned a blacked up Robert Downey Jr whispering in my ear “they went full retard, you NEVER go full retard“. Add to this, the fact Dorff plays his role completely deadpan and relatively competently that further makes the rest of the cast a joke.

Botched is a film that tries incredibly hard, but doesn’t deliver on much. The gore, the gimmicks, the story; it’s just not there. I only laughed at a few points and i’m quite sure others will be challenged to take anything away from this film. That’s how best to sum this film up: A challenge to watch, and I don’t think it will be long before Botched is lining the bottom of bargain bins up and down the country.

Rating: 3.5 out of 10 stars

First published: 2002

What would you do if you were the last man on the planet?

It’s one of those questions men have talked about at length, sat around a pub table, at home whilst gaming, at the dinner table, well, anywhere really. What would you actually do if you were the last man on the planet?

Y: The Last Man follows the story of Yorick Brown, a down on his luck escapologist who has this hypothetical question made a reality. He wakes up on July 17, 2002, to find that he is the last man on the planet. A plague has hit that has wiped out the Y chromosome, killing off every male species on the planet, save for Yorick, and his pet monkey Ampersand. The world is plunged onto chaos, as societies collapse, and the survivors are faced with the reality that, if an explanation and cure to this ‘plague’ is not discovered, humanity is doomed. Yorick realises his importance, and sets off to try and discover what caused this plague and see if he still has a place in the world.

That is essentially the premise of the comic, and it’s very hard not to get spoiler heavy by saying much more regarding the story, so I won’t. Because, in short, this is one of the best comics I’ve ever read.

Now I know what you you’re thinking. All the men on the planet are dead except him. It’s just poor little Yorick, and all the women on the planet? It would be a man’s dream come true surely? Initially you would think so, but Y: The Last Man does the genius thing of not making it about that at all. That’s the obvious plot line, but so seldom does it even come up throughout the entire series. That’s not to say it never comes up; it would be pretty ignorant to not add this story element; to look into the desires of men and women in such an extraordinary scenario. What’s so refreshing about this comic though, is that yes, he could go on a massive spree of bedding women left right and center, but he doesn’t. From the outset, Yorick has 2 goals. 1. Find out what caused this plague, and find out if he’s doomed to share the same fate as his species, and 2 get to the other side of the world and find the love of his life, Beth. This is what makes is such a great story and what makes Yorick a fantastic character. He could literally have anyone he wants, but he’s set on his goal and his girl, and nothing will move him from it.

Yorick is surrounded from start to finish by some fantastic supporting characters, including Agent 355, a woman sent to protect Yorick and aid him in finding out what caused the plague, and Doctor Allison Mann, a geneticist desperately seeking to find out what caused the plague and why Yorick survived. Yorick needs some serious protecting on his journey. He has to contend with newly formed military factions, governments, hardcore fanatics the ‘Daughters of the Amazon’ who believe that this plague was a deserved fate for the ‘oppressive species’, and hundreds of women that basically just want to jump his bones.

I don’t think anything I write will do Y: The Last Man justice. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of the 60 issues.. It’s funny in places, deep in others, it has scares, shocks, and some genuinely heart breaking moments. The end had me legitimately in tears. My only minor criticism is that some of the issues tend to be fillers that I felt didn’t really need to be there. Looking back though, as a complete story, they had their place in their own right, and so it’s forgivable.

Y: The Last Man is a beautifully written, stunningly drawn comic, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who loves comics, someone new to them, or anyone who likes a compelling story. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed. It is a real story of trial over adversary, of a man who chose what was right, over what was easy.

So what are you waiting for? Go read it. You’ll be nothing short of amazed.

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Thale follows the story of two men, Elvis and Leo, who run the ‘No Shit Cleaning Service’, cleaning up dead bodies, and god knows what else to make a living. They receive a call about another job, which initially seems routine (very initially, mind you) and quickly goes from routine, to odd, to downright mental. In an old, disheveled shack, they find all manner of recordings, scientific documents, graphs and plans etc. They also find Thale…

Thale (Silje Reinåmo) is revealed to be a ‘Huldra’, a stunningly beautiful woman with the tail of a Cow (no, seriously) who has been raised since childhood by an unnamed and never seen man, (credited only as “voice”) kept in captivity her entire life in an attempt to make her as human as possible, and deny her from her kind. Though he has been successful, she hears the call of her people and longs to run with them. In terms of storyline, there’s not much else to it. Leo and Elvis attempt to piece together her history, why she’s there, and what to do with her.

Let down by the 77 minute running time, the film always feels like they wanted to give so much more, but for some reason, sensed it wouldn’t work, and just kind of gave up.

That’s not to say there aren’t some truly magical (no pun intended) parts to it. Reinåmo plays the role of a frightened woman, unsure of who she is, thrust into an uncomfortable and unknown situation, fantastically. What makes this performance even more special is that she does not utter a single word in the entire film. She is a powerful supernatural being capable of doing a lot of damage, but she’s frail, vulnerable, and ultimately human. It really is the films saving grace.

Erlend Nervold plays Elvis surprisingly well, and quickly goes from the weak stomached, bumbling fool, to the one person who can truly relate to Thale. It’s hard to say that Jon Sigve Skard plays Leo at all, however. If it was fully intentional to have him as a totally emotionless character to offset Nervold and Reinåmo’s characters all the more, it is a possibility. Either way, it’s a thoroughly disappointing performance, and I felt the character had a lot of wasted potential.

In terms of special effects, it was, sadly, one of those films that would have been better if we’d never seen the Huldra’s up close, as computer animation is severely dated and low budget.

In short, Thale is worth a watch, but it’s really let down by some poor character development and an incredibly short running time. I went into this film with mixed feelings, and came out with those dismissed, but with a whole bunch of new ones. Save for Reinåmo’s incredible performance, and admittedly, a beautiful and completely unpredictable ending, it falls short in so many places. It feels to me that writer and wirector Aleksander Nordaas clearly knew what he wanted, and was set on making his film, his way.

I wanted this to be so much more though, and sadly it really could have been.

Rating: 5 out of 10 stars

In 2002, Neil Marshall, a relatively unknown director at the time, had the idea of bringing back the classic werewolf movie. No frills, no fancy pants CGI (or terrible CGI, if Van Helsing is anything to go by), just gritty ‘real’ puppetry, prosthetics, and animatronics. Throw in a rag tag bunch of soldiers, and the promising tagline ‘Six soldiers. Full moon. No chance’ and you have Dog Soldiers.

The film opens with two loved up campers in the Scottish wilderness. It’s his birthday, and he’s presented with a solid silver knife. Silver? Werewolves? Subtle? This film is nothing of the sort, but we’ll get to that. Long story short, they are attacked by an unknown beast. Cut to the aforementioned ragtag bunch of soldiers led by Sean Pertwee (Equilibrium, Event horizon) and Kevin McKidd (Trainspotting, Rome) on a routine weekend training op, filled with complaints about “missin’ the footie”, and the general disdain for being in…wait for it… the Scottish wilderness. You see where this is going?

This all goes completely tits up, or ‘bone’ as they’d so eloquently put it, when they realise they aren’t alone in the woods. Forced to seek refuge in a Cottage in the middle of nowhere, they lay their defences for a night long siege against hordes of werewolves. Cue 105 minutes of swearing, shooting, violence, laughs, and some of the best
one liners i’ve ever heard.

In terms of storytelling, there isn’t really much here, but that’s really not an issue. You have your soldiers, and you have your dogs. The clue’s in the title. It’s a great take on the siege movie, but with a monster/horror twist.

The casting is fantastic; a band of soldiers that bounce off each other perfectly. Pertwee and McKidd’s relationship especially is a real one of note. A mentor/student relationship, but a deeper friendship is evident there too. Add great performances by Emma Cleasby (Doomsday) and the ever sinister Liam Cunningham (Game of Thrones, Blood:The Last Vampire), and you have a very strong ensemble cast.

Then we have the werewovles themselves. They are in short, fantastic. I went into this film expecting to see terrible CGI werewolves running up walls (sorry Underworld), but instead i was greeted with fantastic animatronics and prosthetics, reminiscent of An American Werewolf In London. It’s this ‘real’ look, that is such a nod to the classic werewolf movies of old, and in this CGI-laden world, it was nothing short of refreshing.

I would recommend Dog Soldiers to anyone. It’s a big screen B-Movie with homages to all the classic werewolf movies; plenty of explosions, and in general just a real lads movie, but with more widespread appeal. It’s just bloody good fun, and i loved every minute of it. Yes, the story is a little thin, but there’s the odd twist and turn moments that can really blindsight you.

Neil Marshall did a great job here, and went on to make films like The Descent, a personal favourite of mine.

Watch it with friends, squirm at the gory bits, laugh at the countless funny bits, and generally just immerse yourself in the switch off your brain and enjoy romp that is Dog Soldiers.

I guarantee you’ll be quoting it for weeks.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10 stars