2010 – A Eulogy

Best of 2010

2010 was a mixed bag for the majority of us – it was twelve months of joy, pain, fun, boredom, insanity and horror. The credit crunch bit further into our wallets and purses, special UK snow surprised our transport systems to death and the British government once again dropped its boxers and crapped on the little guy (and some students).

For film in general it was also a mix of great, good, reasonable and God-awful cinema-raping cackbadgers. Cameron pointlessly re-released Avatar with even more sexy Smurf footage, Pixar gave us a 3rd film to add to that miniscule list of awesome trilogies (with the superb Toy Story 3) and Saw 3D finally nailed the coffin shut on its own flagging franchise. Probably. Tron disappointed, nerds kicked ass and Inception broke our minds.

It also seemed like a year were icons died. We lost Tony Curtis, Dennis Hopper, Irvin Kirshner, Kevin McCarthy, Leslie Nielsen and even Corey Haim. Hopes that 2011 will be Brett Ratner’s “turn” are completely unwarranted…

In some ways 2010 was a surprising year – Danny Trejo finally got a lead role, censorship became an issue again when the BBFC scissor-snipped A Serbian Film and Nicholas Cage was suddenly awesome again.

Horror wise 2010 gave us a lot of mediocre Horror, some genuinely great movies and a bulging warehouse of filmic crud. But what really got our attention? What Horror films really made 2010 a year to remember? For those who trust our opinion, here’s our top 5 films from 2010… feel free to send us hate mail or praise. Or both.

Sarah’s Top 5 Horror Movies of 2010

Boston’s Top 5 Horror Movies of 2010

Worst Horror Movie of 2010

Upsettingly, we found it much easier to think of five truly appalling horror films than fantastic ones. Much more than five. In fact, 2010 had a host of poo-moulded Horror films, most notably the likes of Skyline, The Wolfman, the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street and Mega Piranha, which all received our disappointed faces in 2010. Yet there can be only one winner for Gorepress’s worst horror movie of the year. The much-coveted turd-scooping wooden spoon has to go to the fourth film released in an already dismal franchise, and for a director who quite literally deserves to be dunked into a bowl of putrid zombie bowels for crimes against the Horror genre. And the “winner” is…

Resident Evil: Afterlife

Worst Film of 2010!

Little needs to be said about this further bludgeoning of a much loved video game empire – read Boston’s less-than-enamouring review here. With little potential and zero expectations, audiences were treated with another cavalcade of zombie nonsense from writer / director Paul W.S. Anderson. Simply the worst horror film of 2010. And worst director. And worst writer. And worst catering, probably. I’m sure you all really look forward to Paul W.S.’s adaptation of The Three Musketeers, featuring Orlando Bloom, Ray Stevenson, Milla Jovovich and James Corden. God help us…

Next year my money’s on Red Riding Hood for 2011’s Worst Horror Movie, considering the trailer makes me want to pull my eyes out through my scrotum. Think Twilight meets In The Company of Wolves meets a squealing teenage girl with an IQ of four.

But what does 2011 hold for us?

2011 will feature a barrage of sequels, aliens, priests, wizards, witches, weirdoes, werewolves, creeps, comedy and killer fish. Nothing truly excites, but there could be some gems hidden amongst the usual plethora of sequels and bandwagon jumpers. Specifically look out for:

  • 5inal Destination (yes, 5inal)
  • The Apparition
  • Battle: Los Angeles
  • Black Swan
  • Fright Night
  • Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2
  • Mother’s Day
  • Piranha 3 DD (yes, a sequel released less than a year later…)
  • Priest
  • Rabies
  • Red Riding Hood
  • Red State
  • The Resident
  • The Rite
  • The Roommate
  • Scream 4
  • Season of the Witch
  • The Thing (this is a prequel not a remake, despite the name)
  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1
  • Vanishing of 7th Street
  • The Ward
  • The Woman in Black

And some comic book adaptations

  • Captain America: The First Avenger
  • The Green Hornet
  • The Green Lantern
  • Thor
  • Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon (okay, okay… TOY adaptations…)
  • X Men: First Class

And also look out for The Beaver; a film where Mel Gibson uses a hand-puppet beaver to communicate with people… which sounds more terrifying than any horror film we saw in 2010.

We hope you all had an awesome 2010, filled with gore, violence and scares (on film only, hopefully) and you’re all looking forward to the forthcoming madness of 2011. Could be epic, but only time will tell.

Happy New Year from all at Gorepress! Stay crazy.

3 Comments on “2010 – A Eulogy”

  1. Rag says:

    A couple of next (or is it this now) years offerings have crossed my radar and made me sit up and take notice.

    The trailer for Season of the Witch looks quite promising. I’m not gonna throw my cap over the wall on this one (you gotta be a West Wing fan to follow that one). Hell, I am still scarred by Ghost Rider. So Mr Cage has got some serious catch up work to do. And it does just look like Solomon Kane with a budget. But on the plus side, I liked Solomon Kane. And anything with swords, big battles, witchy naughtiness and explosions is probably gonna be worth a watch.

    The Green Hornet looks great. I love fairly crap ‘super’ heroes from years gone by. And think Bruce Lee was fantastic (if you missed the link there… Bruce was Kato in the original series. Google him to find out the relevance. This is not a history lesson). But more than just nostalgia, the trailer rocked my funky socks off. Still. I’ve seen trailers that would have more of a box office draw than the film they ‘represent’ before.

    And Captain America!!! He is a super hero, he is the embodiment of everyones favourite nation and he carries a shield!!!. That is a tripple win in anyones book.

    Happy ’11 pressers.

  2. Sarah Law says:

    In hindsight I totally should have included Someone’s Knocking At The Door. Although I don’t know what I would have bumped off. Can I have a Top 6 please?!

    • The Scullion says:

      Nope! If we had top 6 I would’ve included Shutter Island. Or Suck. Or… darn it. We’ll do Top 10 next year!

      And top 10 worst horrors. I can sadly think of more worse than good. Damn you 2010!

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