A Gorepress Halloween 2009

It only comes once a year, and it’s more exciting than Christmas. Whether you like carving the pumpkins, dressing up like a devil or lobbing eggs at Mrs Granger’s house, Halloween has a thousand memories for us all. The only problem is there’s so much to do. Yeah, the 31st is reserved for drunken costume parties, but Halloween is all the days around it too. Here at Gorepress, we want you to know you have more options than sitting at home in your pants and eating McVitie’s Spooky Jaffa Mini Rolls while watching re-runs of Casper and The Addams Family Values. Below is a list of DVDs, movies, theatre and other interesting things to do, and avoid, over the scariest weekend on the year.

AT THE CINEMA:

In Cinemas Now

The Final Destination – somehow this took more at the UK Box Office than Inglorious Basterds, but was a lot less entertaining. It is predictable, explosive, silly stuff. In 3-D. Review here.

Halloween 2 – cack sequel to a cack remake. Only go if you’ve got a bag of rotten eggs and a lot of verbal abuse to spare. Review here.

Pandorum 2009Pandorum – if you can still find it playing, this sub Event Horizon space horror sees a couple of deep space passengers waking up to find their entire crew gone. But something else is on the ship with them…

Zombieland – manic and amusing post apocalyptic horror-comedy. Visually fantastic, brutally funny and featuring a fantastic cameo from a Hollywood comedy legend. Review here.

Out on October 16th

Pontypool – a zombie horror with a difference. This time the contagion is spread via certain words spoken in the English language… which makes things difficult for a small church radio station trying to contact the outside world.

Thirst – amazing Korean horror about an unfortunate Priest who turns into a vampire and tries to fight the urge to drink blood and bed Triangle 2009 Melissa Georgethe wife of his childhood friend. Twisted, nasty, bizarre and very funny. Review here.

Triangle – from the director of Creep and Severance, Triangle is a twisting horror about a group of friends stuck on a spooky ocean liner where nothing is what it seems. Bloody and intense.

Out on October 23rd

Colin – despite coming out on DVD the following Monday, the world’s first zombie P.O.V. horror hits the big screen. Made for £45 and a helluva lot of favours, this is an exciting project and really inspiring for anyone who’s thinking of making their own monster movie on a student’s budget.

Cirque de Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant – based on Darren Shan’s teen horror books, this John C Reilly and Salma Hayek starrer looks like a pile of balls, but it’s the kick-startSaw 6 VI to a franchise the studio bods presumably hope will appeal to the kids who think Harry Potter’s a wimpy limpet. Could be great, probably won’t be.

Saw VI – the most prolific of horror franchises in recent years, Jigsaw’s legacy continues to deal death in more inventive and horrific ways with the sixth instalment of this torture-porn catalyst.

Out on October 30th

Oddly, no horror film is coming out over Halloween weekend. Missed a trick there, didn’t they?

AT HOME:

DVD New Releases

Autopsy – Robert Patrick starring horror-comedy about a group of teenagers who end up at a hospital in the woods, where the medical staff have a vicious bedside manner. Great fun, utterly daft and very bloody. Review here.

Doghouse – ace British horror-comedy from director Jake West (Evil Aliens). A group of lads visit a small country village looking to forget their women troubles only to end up in the middle of a infectious outbreak that only affects the female population. Hilarious, bloody, insane and great fun throughout. Review here.

Rogue – another man-eating crocodile monster-horror, but this time with Sam Worthington and Rahda Mitchell. Not nearly as bad as it looks and a darn sight better than Lake Placid 2…

DVD out on 19th October

Dead Set Jamie WinstoneDead Set: Director’s Cut – a reminder that TV isn’t always ballbags, this Big Brother set zombie comedy gets the director’s cut treatment, adding more gore, dark humour and, with any luck, Andy Nyman to an already excellent mini-series.

I Sell The Dead – kooky British horror-comedy starring Dominic Monaghan and Ron Perlman. A graverobber reminiscences on his time stealing corpses and the bizarre supernatural occurrences that frequently surrounded it.

Last House on the Left (2009) – pointless and trudging remake that is simple, slow and ends appallingly. Mostly needless and tragically lacking menace. Review here.

The Uninvited – the remake of Korean horror A Tale of Two Sisters, this tension free horror is dull and predictable. Review here.

Zombie Wars – if you like zombies and like them cheap, then this release is for you. Set fifty years after a zombie outbreak, survivors band together to create one final battle on Earth to rid the planet of the pesky undead. Could be terrible, is definitely cheap.

DVD out on 26th October

Clive Barker’s Book of Blood – if you liked all of Barker’s previous work, then you’ll like this. If not, apparently it’s a bit rubbish. A phoney paranormal expert investigates a haunted house that turns out to be the intersection for highways that transport souls to the afterlife. Lots of violence follows.

Colin – extremely low budget British zombie horror from the point of view of one of the undead. Unique, guerrilla filming and actual success has made this an instant cult classic.

Drag Me To Hell – brilliantly insane horror-comedy from genre legend Sam Raimi. Brutal, terrifying and very funny, this is a great movie.

The Hills Run Red – a film fanatic and his friends go looking for the extended print of his favourite horror film only to find out the movie’s antagonist is actually real.

Trick r’ Treat – a group of interwoven stories all set on the same street at Halloween. There’s a lot to enjoy here and it’s a film that encompasses everything that’s great about Halloween. Review here.

True Blood Sookie StackhouseTrue Blood: Season 1 – dirty, bloody and sexy, the TV series based on Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels has captured the hearts and groins of thousands of vampire lovers. Strangely compelling stuff.

OTHER ACTIVITIES…

Alton Towers Scarefest Resort (17th Oct – 1st Nov)

www.altontowers.com/events/halloween-scarefest/

Alton Towers decks out its resort for two weeks of Halloween-based tomfoolery. There are specially themed Trick or Treat rooms, where gifts are hidden, an outdoor maze full of zombies and a hotel packed with actors and tricksters ready to scare and amuse – Alton Towers’ Scarefest is a wholly interactive experience. This has been going for a number of years and has apparently got a reputation for effectively mixing fun with scares. It is aimed at families, naturally, but it’s a unique way to visit one of Britain’s best loved theme parks.

Frightfest All Nighter (Oct 31st – Nov 1st)

www.frightfest.co.uk

The Frightfest all nighter looks excellent this year, boasting poltergeists, vampires, zombies, mutants, backwoods monsters and an incredible torture show. Films this year include: Paranormal Activity, Daybreakers, Wrong Turn 3, Carriers, Invitation Only and Survival of the Dead (Romero’s latest in his never-slowing zombie franchise). With the possible exception of a third Wrong Turn, the selection is really exciting, and getting a glance at Paranormal Activity before the country goes completely nuts over it might be worth the £50 price tag alone.

Halloween at the British Library (Oct 31st only)

www.bl.uk/whatson/events/event95734.html

For those after something different this Halloween, look no further than the British Library. Called “Imagining the Impossible”, the Halloween at British Library event features an illustrated talk by Gordon Rutter, head of the Charles Fort Institute and expert on strange phenomena. Focusing on the period between the 1860s and 1930s, the talk examines the fascination that images of spirits, ghosts and ectoplasm held in the minds of the public, as well as high profile figures like Arthur Conan Doyle.

The Institute (Oct 29th – Nov 1st)

www.pleasance.co.uk/islington/node/672

The InstituteSet in some crumbling offices in North London, this interactive horror performance piece invites an audience on a tour through the Avernus Institute, a drug testing laboratory that wants to show the world their work is perfectly safe and respectable. Tragically the tour goes horribly wrong when one of the test subjects reacts badly to a new treatment, and the audience find themselves trying to escape the facility as The Institute rapidly falls apart around them. Starring comedy troupe The Penny Dreadfuls, this horror comedy is nasty, amusing, terrifying and unique. Anyone afraid of blood, prolonged periods of utter darkness or the possibility of death should not attend…

The London Bridge Experience and London Tombs (open all year)

www.thelondonbridgeexperience.com

Voted the UK’s ‘best year round scare attraction’, this is London’s freshest new interactive horror experience. Situated across the road from the less fresh London Dungeon, the London Bridge Experience is an educational tour of London’s vile history caked in the veil of a horror show. From Roman’s to Vikings to severed heads on spikes, it’s a silly romp that is amusing and genuinely interesting. The London Tombs, added on for free as part of the package, was formerly a plague pit, and once again you’re plunged into an interactive history lesson with added jumps and featuring grown men who get paid to dress up like monsters. It is also hosting the Phobophobia event over Halloween, guaranteeing more scares.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, HOWEVER…

WHAT WILL THE GOREPRESS TEAM BE DOING THIS HALLOWEEN?

Sarah: She’s co-hosting a Halloween house party, which is a rather grand way of saying that she’ll be throwing some fake blood around, gorging herself on candy, carving up some pumpkins and drinking a large amount of horror-themed cocktails. Probably whilst dressed as a zombie.

Jamie: Combining music and movies in one evening, he’s going to watch a Misfits tribute band, then following it with a screening of Dawn Of The Dead at Manchester’s Grimmfest.

AND FINALLY…

The dumbest and most shameless Halloween tie-ins we’ve spotted this year…

“Fearfully Fun Fright Night Freeroll Guaranteed Casino Tournament.” Despite the appalling name, apparently there are “no tricks here, just treats”. Unless you lose all your money and have to become a whore, of course.

Co-op’s Spooky Halloween offer – The animated sheep are dressed in Halloween clothes and a range of offers are introduced, including “half price pumpkins, a third off a tin of Quality Street, buy one, get one free on Pepsi and buy any two fun size bags of Maltesers for £2.89.” Nothing says Halloween like Quality Street.

Our personal favourite:

“Great Offer – 15% off Halloween sale from Wiggle Online Cycle Shop”. Yep.

One Comment on “A Gorepress Halloween 2009”

  1. DenzelWven says:

    Hi everyone, Happy haloween!

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