See No Evil (2006)

The words “A WWE Production” do nothing to inspire confidence in See No Evils potential audience unless of course, the audience is comprised entirely of die hard ‘wrestling’ fans. Being about as far from a die hard ‘wrestling’ fan as it’s possible to get, I wasn’t entirely sure what See No Evil would involve. Starring one of the federations more famous faces; Kane as Jacob Goodnight, the film centres around several young offenders who, as part of their rehabilitation are required to assist in restoring an old, dilapidated hotel over a weekend. This mixed bag of unrealistically attractive reprobates soon begin to realise that the hotel hasn’t been completely abandoned as they were lead to believe. Inside the hotel resides the lumbering man-child; Goodnight, who seems hell bent on picking them off one by one and then ritualistically gouging their eyes from the sockets.

Reportedly, during the making of See No Evil, many of Kane’s co-stars were so frightened of him that they wouldn’t go near him unless filming absolutely necessitated it. At a staggering 7 feet tall, it’s easy to see why. He makes for a formidable antagonist and thankfully the role requires little from him in the way of serious acting, leaving him to grunt and stumble around, causing destruction and death in his wake.

Director Gregory Dark is better known for helming such classic titles as Hootermania, Sex Freaks and New Wave Hookers 1 to 4. It’s surprising then, that, despite the semi-gratuitous shower scene, there’s no real nudity in the film. The gratuity in this instance comes in the form of some down-and-dirty gore effects, which for the most part, are done pretty well. The plethora of eye gougings became a little repetitive after a while but there was enough going on elsewhere that it never got boring.

The cast of young actors and actresses screamed, acted slutty, ran like their lives depended on it and looked relevantly terrified in all the right places but on occasion, the reactions were far too exaggerated so while they’d get full marks for effort, the end result lacked any real believability.

See No Evil is a movie that asks a lot from it’s viewers but doesn’t offer enough in return to make it a worthwhile experience. It requires you to suspend disbelief on almost every aspect. Would young offenders really be allowed to fraternise with the opposite sex? Would such a broken down building really be spruced up rather than bulldozed and re-built? Why aren’t the young criminals under constant supervision? Why didn’t the police do a complete sweep of the building beforehand, making sure there weren’t any gargantuan psychopaths lurking in the shadows? The list is endless.

Aside from one or two particularly nasty set-pieces there isn’t much here that horror fans won’t have seen before, and arguably done much better. When all is said and done, for a film that was financed by a company that made its fortune by filming big men in spandex throwing chairs at one another in the name of wrestling, it could have been much worse. If you’re a fan of the WWE then you might be in for a treat, otherwise you’re just in for a distinctly average stalk and slash flick.

Rating: ★★★★½☆☆☆☆☆

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