Evil Toons (1992)

I loved this film. It’s that simple.

Firstly, Fred Olen Ray isn’t just a director; he is a directing machine, making tiny budgets stretch like the tube tops on his lead actresses. The man can do very little wrong, I’m pretty sure that none of his extensive back catalogue has ever lost money. Sure, that keeps the suits happy but what about the average gore-hungry, tit-obsessed man on the street.

Well, his busty bevies of scream queens certainly deliver in the chest department. Special mention should go to Madison Stone, who spends most of the movie running and jiggling. There are plenty of other boobs on display too, including the magnificent Michelle Bauer‘s, who pops up (and out) in a neat cameo. Unfortunately not so much in the gore department, some fake blood splashed around here and there, some poorly applied joke shop gashes too but that’s about all.

Is there a plot? Well, four young ladies are dropped off at “Hull House” to make a hundred dollars each cleaning it over a weekend. The girls find some spooky paraphernalia, David Carradine shows up to give them a book, or something, and it isn’t long before a white-faced geeky girl reads out some weird passage which animates an image from the book (which has a face on it, and can talk, naturally). The book monster does some Tex Avery-style gurning whilst starring at Stone’s tatas and then, like, possesses her or whatever. Then she has big teeth and is pretty scary, and bites people. Although this doesn’t leave a wound. Some other stuff happens, and then it is all a dream. I think.

It was paced well and never bored me, Fred Olen Ray has made enough of these boob-excuse flicks to know exactly how much time to spend setting up the story in relation to how much exposed flesh is on screen. I liked the cartoon sound effects when the girls would strip too, that was a nice touch. The acting didn’t suck too hard, especially when you dress the set with genre stalwarts like Miller and Carradine. Some of the lens work was really top notch, you wouldn’t even think that this was thrown together over a few weekends in 1991.

It wasn’t all plain sailing though; the constant self aware horror movie references pissed me off a touch even though it was eons before the Scream phenomena. The animation was pretty crappy. There was also nowhere near enough of it. The make up FX were pretty poor too.

Overall though, it was a fun little movie with plenty of gags, boobs and blood to keep me interested for its 82 minute running time.

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

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