DeVour (2005)

Ok, so I freely admit that my sole reason for wanting to watch DeVour was Jensen Ackles. He did exactly what I expected him to do; look pretty whilst mercilessly over-acting. Unfortunately there were a number of other factors that ruined the experience for me.

The film is about a trio of childhood friends, who I will refer to as ‘the ginger one‘, the slutty chick‘ and ‘the Ackles‘ from now on. They are attending College together and one night, on the Ackles’ 21st birthday, the ginger one decides to tell the other two about an online, seemingly self-aware game he’s been playing called The Pathway. As it turns out he should have played it safe and stuck to World of Warcraft because The Pathway turns out to be far more sinister than any of them could have guessed.

I wish I could be more specific about the plot but in all honesty, I have absolutely no idea what the hell happened. In a nutshell, the Ackles broods and looks confused, the slutty chick whinges, cries and stamps her feet a bit, William Sadler pops up in a brief and ineffectual role and the ginger one behaves erratically before murdering two people and then jamming pencils in his ears and committing suicide. Or maybe he committed suicide by jamming pencils in his ears. Who knows?

Dominique Swain is predictably annoying, having been coasting from one crappy straight-to-DVD flick to another for several years now and Shannyn Sossaman, who I previously quite liked, swans about being softly-spoken and a bit new-agey whilst wearing the Worlds most obvious wig.

During the latter half of the movie, I was reminded, albeit vaguely, of Videodrome. I couldn’t say whether it was intentionally or accidentally derivative but there were certainly shades of that film when one supposed explanation turned out to be a rouse and then we were on to the next potential explanation which, again, was equally deceptive, and so on and so forth. In other words, I got the feeling that the writers; Adam & Seth Gross had been chuckling together and clinking glasses, certain that they’d created a simultaneously labyrinthine and meaningful script, when in actual fact, they’re just not quite as clever as they thought they were.

It’s not all bad though, some of the gore is actually quite effective. One scene in particular, where the Ackles cuts off his own tongue in what we’re later told is a dream sequence, is genuinely wince-inducing.

Most of the theology and inane talk about voodoo and Satan and stuff, with regard to a possible explanation, is largely confounding and unnecessarily convoluted, leading up to a conclusion that left a bitter taste in my mouth and a perplexed frown on my face. Basically, unless you’re a die-hard Ackles fan and are prepared to watch all 90 minutes with the Television firmly on mute, then avoid this piece of junk like the bubonic plague.

Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.